Wednesday, March 30, 2011

From Dwight Schrute's Beet Farm: Mustache March

The end of March is quickly approaching us. The 31-day ode to the most underrated, yet most difficult, facial hair style has just about concluded. But before everyone breaks out their shaving creme and razors, let's reflect on some of the most glorious mustaches that have even been donned on a man's upper-lip. As well as some weak attempts to remind us how special it really is to be able to grow and pull of a mustache.

Top 10 Best Mustaches:

#10 (a). Br*nd*n C*ffm*n (censored for security purposes)

An understudy of his father, a local legend in facial hair, let his glorious mustache touch the lives of us momentarily. BG misses its wildcard.

#10 (b). **st*n M*ss (censored for security purposes) aka Sir Bo Outlaw

I had to make an edit because of a glaring om ission of long-time BRL follower/bear/mustache donner Bo Outlaw. His mustacheness is definitely in the top-tier of facial hairs that my eyes have ever had the privilege of witnessing.

#9. Richard Pryor

One of the best comedians ever also had one of the best mustaches of all time as well.

#8. Tom Tucker

Easily the best cartoon mustache out there, here's to you, Tom Tucker.

#7. William Taft

I don't know much about his presidency, but he easily is America's best mustached president.

#6. John Stossel

One of my favorite journalists, and I hope for obvious reasons.

#5. Ron Jeremy

Paved the way for the "porn star mustache" look.

#4. Mike Ditka

Coach Ditka, need I say more?

#3. Ron Swanson

BRL's man of the year has a glorious mustache, indeed.

#2. Rollie Fingers

Oakland A's pitcher is truly an inspiration to aspiring mustache growers.

#1. Wilford Brimley

The famous Diabetes commercial guy, has THEE best mustache in the game. You can't Dia-Beat-his mustache, yo.

Honorable Mentions: Borat, John Selleck, Robert Goulet, Poncho Villa, and Albert Einstein

Top 5 WORST Mustaches:

#5. Prince

No one has ever looked so feminine while sporting a mustache.

#4. Michael Jordon

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Taking a page from...

#3. Adolf Hitler

Holocaust, WWII, German cars, but his worst offense? You tell me...

#2. J. Cz*r*k

Shit's weak bro (BG'ers will get that little play on words).

#1. Adam Morrison

Yeah, I'd cry too if my mustache game was that weak.

1 comment:

  1. this post is freaking out, so i will fix it up tomorrow.