Thursday, July 1, 2010

From Dwight Schrute's Beet Farm: Things I Don't Hate About Canada

Now you may now that our annoying, half-retarded neighbors to the north celebrate the eve of the eve of the eve of America's Independence Day. So I thought I'd be nice for once and list off somethings I DON'T hate about Canada.

Ellen Page
Ryan Reynolds
Seth Rogan
Michael Cera
(and all the other actors I like who are from Canada)
Alanis Morrsette
K'Naan (actually he's Somolian, but today I'll give Canada a break)
(I think that's all the musicians from Canada that don't suck)
Neil Young's "Ohio" (just the song, NOT Neil Young)
Labattes Blue Light
Maple Syrup
Full-Nudity at Bars Rule (which actually may really suck, actually no one wants to see a naked Canadian, ever. Void this from the list)
Tim Hortons (the coffee shop, not whoever it's named after. btw Starbucks >>>>>>>>> >>>>>TH)
Robin Scherbotsche (yes, i know she's a ficitional character from How I Met Your Mother, but Canada REALLY doesn't have much to offer.)
That Scene in Away We Go, where they visit Montreal
yepp... I think that's it. Good Riddance.

Editor's Note: You will notice that there is no mention of Canada's drinking age, 19. This is intentional because, A. I'm almost 21, I'd rather wait 3 months than visit Canada, B. Fuck a passport, I live in America, C. The only reason the drinking age is so low is because they know it's the only Americans will EVER visit their t'aint hair of a country.

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